One Way Ticket to Daylight Saving's Time

Last week Dion and I voyaged down and across part of the Atlantic to Puerto Rico, where Chris Columbus arrived in the spring of 1493. In the fall he decided to make the Coqui frog it's unofficial symbol, because one jumped into his soup and made him giggle. That's how I see it happening in my head. I didn't find any frogs and I didn't find any Columbi's, either. Now I will tell you all of the things that Puerto Rico has and all of that that it is lacking.

Things that Puerto Rico Has:

Average temperature in the 80's
cologne for babies
George Bush
Rainforestry
The El Baconator at Wendy's
a Rush concert and a Billy Joel concert in what I translated to be sometime in April
compact cars
infants and pregnant women roaming the streets. and chickens
Chinese restaurants
Condom stores
plaintains on stuff, in stuff, alone, etc

Things that Puerto Rico doesn't Have:

anger
Chipotle
Radio stations distinguishing between different types of American rock music
zebras
Brick houses
12 ounce cans of soda
cancer
Hips that lie

I found myself to favor this commonwealth. The beach delighted me. The island reminded me of a little bitty baby with a high surface area to volume ratio, which explains why God bundles it up so warmly all year round. I left my actual baby at home with my mother, so this ruined the metaphor for me. I could never leave Simon for an island baby, no matter how nice the sunsets. It was cold in Baltimore when we returned, and the hour that we lost somehow never re-appeared despite the time zone difference. It must have gone wherever the frogs are.